It's Complicated
by cRiaa
Summary: Natsume is just starting to come to terms with her feelings towards Sasayan. With Sasayan's help, he may hopefully ease her lack of empathy towards his feelings and maybe even boys in general. On the other hand, Natsume finds this situation to be just too complicated. Why couldn't Sasayan understand that it's not that this wouldn't work, but that it shouldn't work?
1. The Secret's Out

Author's Note:

This story is set post-Haru's departure. As there wasn't much of a depiction in the manga (except for the drawings) of how the gang's senior year went, this is my interpretation (based on my understanding of the story) of how the days passed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun and this is a non-profit thing. In general, this is pretty much going to be the same disclaimer for every other story I post.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

She told him, "You do what you want to do."

"Is that a trick question?"

Her eyes slightly narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Like, are you saying that as a way to manipulate me into agreeing with you or are you saying that just because?"

She could feel a migraine coming on. "I'm saying, do what you want to do."

"But what does that even mean?" he cried, arms flung in the air.

She was so done with him already. "How should I know!?" she burst.

They've been going at this for a good 10 minutes now. It had been like any other afternoon, Natsume had patiently (might she add) been waiting for Sasayan to finish up with baseball activities so they could walk back to the batting cages. Shizuku would be there to help them with their studies as graduation was fast approaching. Given that they lived in close proximity with each other, it was much more convenient for the two to walk there together- or, well, not really together, as Natsume tended to follow a little behind, likening the feeling of her feet strewn across the gravel. Today, however, was different. Today was one of those days where Natsume was having another mental crisis.

* * *

It all started at school. Natsume had been happily chatting with Shizuku, who was eager to discuss her plans upon Haru's return. "We'll go out and we'll eat."

"And watch the stars!"

"We'll see how his studies are going."

"And feed Nagoya together!"

The two continued to ramble, tossing ideas back and forth until he entered.

"Hey, what's with the lively chatter?" It was Sasayan.

"We're trying to decide what we'll do once Haru's home." Natsume replied.

"Haha! At the pace you guys are going, it sounds more like a full blown schedule."

Aha. Shizuku thought. That's brilliant! "Sasayan, you're right! A schedule is just what we need."

And from there Shizuku left the conversation, intent on placing all of her attention into future plans with Haru.

"Do you think he'll want some okonimyaki?"

"Pfft, Haru will eat anything. He'll probably want it super spicy too!"

It was almost picturesque. From the outside, it would appear as though Natsume and Sasayan were having a good laugh, but like all good things that happen to Natsume, they always come crashing down. The laughter was cut short as Sasayan suddenly leaned a bit forward and shifted his gaze to where it seemed as though he was looking directly at her.

"Hey is that a new pin?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I got it at-"

" It looks good on you."

"Agh..!" Natsume froze. Crap. She forgot all about the pin. Just yesterday, it finally came in the mail. She couldn't believe she got caught up in all the excitement and forgot to calculate the high possibility of compliments, especially from Sasayan! Stupid, stupid...

But wait. Now what should she do? She can't agree since she can't speak, much less finish telling him where she bought it... The only thing Natsume could do was the thing she did best. She put on her poker face.

"Really."

It wasn't a question, neither was it a statement, but just a curt reply.

Sasayan immediately recognized it. It was the way Natsume often shut people out. A sudden end to the conversation. However, Sasayan quit apologizing long ago. He was being honest. And it was just a mild compliment, wasn't it?

"Yeah, really."

"Ah. I see."

The air about them grew chill. It would appear as though even the warmth of Sasayan's bright smile would not be enough to warm Natsume's frigid heart. She refused to be swayed, to feel if anything. And that's what troubled Sasayan the most.

* * *

"Who does he think he is!?" Natsume said aloud. She was pacing back and forth at the foot of the stairs. It was now lunch time and up until that point, Natsume and Shizuku had been having a good meal until Shizuku decided to bring back bad blood.

"So why did you cut Sasayan off?"

"Eh!? You were listening? I thought you were too busy concentrating on the schedule?"

"I have two ears Natsume. I think it best that I make the most of them."

Sometimes Shizuku's straight forward replies were too much.

"Because. He was being too sly." I mean, she didn't ask for his two cents. She knew she looked cute. And having someone (a boy mostly) mention it aloud was the worst. Didn't Sasayan understand? She didn't want a relationship. She wanted to be friends and to remain as friends.

"I think you're overreacting." Shizuku said, bringing Natsume out of her stupor.

"Wha!?" Natsume blushed. "I am not!" She hurriedly stuck a straw into her juice box and took a forceful sip.

"Natsume, if you drink it that fast you're gonna choke."

Natsume had had enough of Shizuku's reprimands to last her through college.

"As if- cough-cough-cough" her retort came back in haggled breaths.

* * *

And here she was now. After school, walking "alongside" Sasayan.

Natsume thought, wasn't this suppose to be the "Springtime of her youth" yet here she was contemplating the means of her existence to said boy who always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Normally, she'd scrutinize him in secret, but at this point in time, the need to probe at him from afar was clearly not enough. Her face scrunched up, with the wrinkles to match.

Basically, Natsume was upset. And she dragged her feet to prove it. Sensing the dense, almost, atomic amount of pressure emanating from Nastume, Sasayan promptly stopped walking, turned around to face her and simply waited. The silence was deafening. All Natsume could hear was her blood pulse, which was rapidly growing faster by the second. Summoning what little courage she had, Natsume started.

"You're unbearable" she declared.

"You think so?" he mused.

"I know so" she deadpanned.

"Hmm...I guess that's just how I am."

And that's what she despised the most. His ability to be so passive about things. As if a slight breeze just brushed past. It certainly wasn't easy for her. Had she'd been called that, she'd outright deny it, but mentally repeat it a thousand times over and over until the words were imprinted into her thick-headed skull. It's not that she couldn't tell him. Hell, Natsume would've done that ages ago had the opportunity come to chance, but this was hard. A challenge Natsume initially refused to commit to because that would mean admitting the truth. Confessing such feelings not just to him, but to herself.

Natsume knew that she was complicated. And that it was her inability to allow other people's feelings to take precedence over her own that only made things worse. The more she thought about it, the more she felt as if admitting that she liked him was a sign of defeat._ Why couldn't he get it?_ Was he stupid? No, no, that's not it. _Why couldn't he understand?_ There was no way she was going to confess. It would ruin everything.

All of a sudden, Sasayan slowly walked forward, towards Natsume, but her feet stood firmly planted on the ground. He leaned a little, so that they're faces were just inches from each other and said, "Natsume, I'll never know unless you tell me." She wondered how he did that. An earnest attempt to put her at ease, but at the same time, leave her feeling guilty. Natsume knew he didn't do it on purpose, but was just trying to understand her the best way he knew how, by being honest.

"I know."

"Then...?"

Readying herself, she took in a big gust of air. "I like you."

The confession hung around them.

What felt like hours to Natsume, was in reality a mere three seconds.

The feeling of embarrassment sunk in. Her ears tinted red and gradually so did the rest of her face.

"I, I- uhh.. I'll race you to the batting cages!" she blurted.

Kicking her feet out of their solidity, Natsume suddenly ran as fast as her legs could take her.

A great big sigh escaped from Sasayan's mouth.

"That's just like her." And just like that, Sasayan went into a sprint.


	2. A Proposal

Author's Note: It has been more than a year since I first published this story and could not be happier that I have finally finished the second chapter. Although I use this website a lot to read stories of interest, I did finally pluck up the courage to make an account in an effort to post my own adventures, fantasies and thoughts. Regardless if no one else enjoys this story, I like what I've written so far and hope to continue this for as long as I remain interested in the _My Little Monster_ fandom.

Recap: Continuing from _The Secret's Out_, this story is set post-Haru's departure. As graduation is just on the horizon, Natsume is just starting to come to terms with her feelings towards Sasayan (which with Sasayan's help) will hopefully ease her lack of empathy towards his feelings and maybe even boys in general. On the other hand, Natsume finds this situation to be too complicated and strongly believes that dare she say it, a _romantic relationship_ between her and Sasayan is impossible. Why couldn't he understand that it's not that this wouldn't work, but that it shouldn't work?

* * *

It was like chasing after a chicken, but not Nagoya. See, ever since Haru left, Shizuku gained a watch dog. . . Err. . . Chicken? Docken? Basically, wherever Shizuku went, Nagoya followed. But nonetheless, Sasayan remained undeterred. By now, chasing after Natsume had become a pass time. The times when he didn't mean for his compliments to be taken seriously and the times when he did, Natsume danced circles around the baseball star. One day she'd unexpectedly be happy and the next Natsume would be so creeped out that she'd ignore him for the rest of the day. It was as if Sasayan was doomed to walk the circumference that is Natsume's heart.

However, for all the times Sasayan dared to go a bit further, he was rewarded for his bravery. From patting her on the head to complimenting her laugh, even attempting to give her a friendly hug, Sasayan was slowly, but surely, getting closer to Natsume. And it showed. Each attempt earned him a Natsume-esque expression that said, "What are you doing!?" complete with blush. If Sasayan thought Natsume was running circles around him now, just imagine what she would do if they were actually dating. Natsume on the other hand, would never admit it aloud, but Sasayan's comments were starting to get to her. Any more and she just might explode! Rather, she hightailed out of there because she simply refused to hear more. She didn't need his hand-outs just as she certainly did not need his charity.

He could clearly see her silhouette, slowly getting larger and larger as he easily caught up to match her pace. Still red faced, Natsume refused to return his gaze and started to run with full force, not even noticing-

"Hey watch out!"

Shizuku.

It was like a nasty car crash. One driver speeding, while the other too distracted to notice the danger up ahead, both meeting in a head on collision.

"Ahh!" The two had fallen into a huge crumpled mess.

"Miti! Phew, am I glad to see you, ah! Oh no! Oh my gosh, Miti are you hurt?"

"Natsume. . . You're heavy."

"Sorry, sorry!" Natsume's reply came as she pulled her limbs out of the fray.

"I was just running away from something really scary."

"By thing, do you mean Sasayan?"

"EH?!" Sasayan, who she thought she could get away from, happened to be standing over the scene. And to add insult to injury, he even offered her his hand. Begrudgingly, Natsume took it, she had met defeat.

Shizuku continued. "Ah, Sasayan. You're late."

"Sorry sorry, but you should know that the best thing happened to me today."

Seeing Sasayan's signature impish smile as well as Natsume's face in sheer shock, Shizuku immediately put two and two together.

"That's good to hear, but Natsume. . . Why do you seem so surprised?"

Natsume for the life of her couldn't reply, but fortunately Sasayan did.

"Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet?"

"I see . . . Well let's go, I'll probably hear all about it once Natsume recovers."

* * *

From that point on, there was no further discussion of the topic as the trio headed to the batting cages to gain some knowledge. Mistuyoshi was there, ever present, looking as good as a 26 year old could be.

"Any word from Haru?"

"Ohoho, straight to the point huh, Shizuku? Actually, I got a postcard couple days ago. Says he's having lots of fun, even caught a big tuna and wants to send it to you. Of course, that was suppose to be a secret, but young love is just so refreshing, isn't it?"

Shizuku beamed with joy. With the face of a young woman excited by the constant surprises love has to offer, it was as if Spring had finally taken over.

On the other hand, Spring for Natsume was far, far away. She was currently sitting directly across from Sasayan who had already started on today's assignment. Any indication of Natsume's confession was nonexistent. Sasayan seemed to be positively unaffected, which left a negative impact on Natsume. She wondered, "How could he just sit there as if nothing happened? After she revealed the biggest secret ever? Is she that unpredictable that he would just not accept her feelings at face value? If so, Sasayan is really clueless when it comes to love. Oh. My. Gosh. Did she really just use the words 'Sasayan' and 'love' in the same sentence?"

If Natsume could, she'd stomp all over her own feelings until there'd be nothing left, but her fossilized shame.

"Natsume, are you okay? You're starting to turn red" came Sasayan's voice, pulling Natusme out of her stupor.

He was staring straight on, right at her face. She could see the wrinkles of worry in his eyes which almost made her feel bad for ever putting him down. Almost.

"I'm fine" poker face activated.

"Really? Because we've been sitting here for over 10 minutes now and you haven't done a single problem."

"I'm just taking my time, that's all."

"Do you need any help?"

"No. Not at all."

"Okay."

Seconds ticked by.

Sasayan swore if he had never met a girl like Natsume, then surely he would have aimed for a girl like Oshima. Someone friendly, but slightly shy, a kind hearted woman who would fill his days with ease. Unfortunately, for some reason that sort of woman (try as Sasayan may) could not connect with his own heart as quickly as Natsume had. From the moment he met her, he probably already knew.

A thought had just occurred.

"Natsume, have you ever actually been on a date?"

"Whaa!? Of course!" Natsume bluffed.

"Really? How'd it go?"

Crap. This was totally a trick question. Sasayan, really?

". . . Well no actually, but only because I really hate boys!"

"Would you be willing to try?"

"Wha!? Huh?" Natsume could feel her face getting hot.

"This Saturday. We could just hang out?"

Hanging out doesn't sound so bad. It is something that they regularly do. . . But what if Sasayan has some ulterior motive? What if he's trying to get back at her for all the times she's rejected him (intentionally or not) by showing off how more experienced he is in the dating realm than she?

"Dah-don't get any ideas!"

"Natsume, you're overreacting again. Is that a yes or a no?"

Something stirred in Natsume. Hah, overreacting? Sasayan, you're such a fool. She would gladly take this challenge and come out victorious. Natsume would show Sasayan a thing or two.

With the utmost confidence, Natsume replied, "Fine!"

"Cool. You and me. This Saturday. It's a date."


End file.
